From Substack: "Professional couples" scare me.

We’re finally diving into spicy topics on this Substack. Buckle up.

A few months ago, I got really into an Instagram account by a young married couple. They were hot, charming, allegedly smitten with each other, split chores evenly, and seemingly spent 24/7 together with nary an argument in sight.

At first, it was fun. It was a refreshing break from the sexist “nagging wife” jokes or the useless toddler husband punchlines that have been everywhere on the internet for years.

Then I realized that I walked away from this couple’s content feeling sad. They seemed to put their relationship on a pedestal as a shining example that all couples should follow (and if you didn’t, what’s wrong with you?) The underlying message I got was that any man who wasn’t living up to the standard set by this upper-middle-class, attractive, 20-something husband was a misogynistic, deadbeat loser.

My mind would race. Was my kind, attentive, good-hearted husband not measuring up because he didn’t drop hundreds of dollars on flowers for me every month? Was our marriage doomed because he didn’t surprise me every quarter with a seasonal basket filled with crap I don’t need from Target?

I had to unfollow that account. Not only did it help clear my head, it also sharpened my discernment when encountering professional couples on the internet.

One of my favorites from our wedding day, captured by the one and only Elizabeth Stroka Photography.

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From Substack: A sophomore slump.

This is a resend of my second Substack post, the title of which I really should’ve Googled before sending it. Cringe.

It’s my second post. I actually did it.

When I sat down for my new Tuesday morning writing routine, I didn’t know what I could write about. Then I typed the title for this post and started thinking about second iterations.

Starting something new is hard, but if it’s in any way successful, following up that success is harder. You hear it all the time—from breakout artists with a hit first album, to bestselling authors with book-trilogy contracts, to movie directors planning a sequel (or a term I just heard this week, a requel). It’s gotten to the point where the best possible compliment you can give a follow-up album or book or movie is, “Well, it was good, but not as good as [first thing].”

But maybe there is some beauty in the sophomore slump, even if the pancake’s shaped a little funny.

Some theater kid blackmail. If you can guess which show this is, I'll be very impressed.

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From Substack: I'm here now.

This post is dedicated to my college roommate Erica, who gave me the encouragement I needed to finally start my Substack. Thank you, Erica.

My new home. Photo by ibuki Tsubo on Unsplash

Hi everyone. It’s been a minute.

It’s been over a year now since I last posted on my blog, and starting a new thing seems like a good way to snap myself back into the routine of writing. I have done this once before (let’s pour one out for Vicky La France). And with Substack replacing the humble ol’ blog, I’m finally jumping on the train.

I don’t exactly know why I’m doing this. It’s been a prompting of the Holy Spirit, and the encouragement of family and friends, that I’ve been very good at ignoring. However, lately I’ve been thinking about the true definitions of two words: “obedience” and “freedom.”

This Substack is an act of obedience. “Obedience” is a scary word and is so deeply misunderstood, even by Christians. We think of cult leaders, or tyrants, or narcissists who demand unfailing submission to their will. But that is the furthest thing from the character of God. The God who created the world out of nothing, who arranged every blade of grass and every hair on your head, who knows you better than you know yourself, doesn’t want to dominate or control you. We have that pesky little thing called free will to thank for that. If God is infinitely good, and desires our ultimate good, then obeying Him—through the personal promptings of the Holy Spirit and the teaching magisterium of the Church—is the most surefire way to build the life that we most deeply desire. I’ve been a writer since I was a kid. But lately, I’ve allowed the busyness of life, the pull of my responsibilities, and the distractions of Al Gore’s Internet™ to make me…not write. I haven’t allowed myself the freedom to write for a long time.

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